Wednesday, February 18, 2015

On Introductions

You know when you have to go around a table, and everyone has to say a little about themselves? And as people begin, you don't hear a thing anyone says, you just sit there rehearsing what you're going to say about yourself?  And then *after* you speak, you still don't listen, because you're cringing at how awkward it sounded or sad that you forgot to add that witty comment at the end?

This is that.  The who am I and why am I here.

My first instinct is to try to wow you with wit, but.. see above.  Probably awkward.  Definitely cringe-worthy.  Really not that clever.  Trying too hard.

So, straight up, here's what this blog will be about.

I'm finishing my first novel and will begin to query it at the beginning of the summer.  I'm all kinds of optimistic right now and what a fun journey it will be for all of us to watch what happens with that. Writer after aspiring writer will tell you how many rejections it takes to finally succeed - if it even does.  And it's fine to know that in theory - and another to live through it yourself.  Look for enlightening posts on the beat down of my ego and morale.  Or not.  Maybe my Dream Agent will love me so hard.

And I have a Dream Agent, btw.  I'm conniving all sorts of ways to make her fall deeply in love with me and my novel.  In fact, that's what I should be working on right now instead of writing this blog post.  But when I query her, and after she follows me on twitter, then clicks the link to this blog - she'll sit there reading about how I always dreamed she'd rep me. So all of this?  It's for you, Dream Agent.

This blog is also about being a platform for me, Aspiring Writer, because agents say they look for that.  So shallow, right?  To start a blog just because you're supposed to have one?  So uninspired.
And I won't lie.  I'm totally not into blogging.  I don't read a lot of them and I haven't ever wanted to waste time writing one.

Just because it's obligatory doesn't mean it has to be dull.

In fact, just today I was jotting down all sorts of fun ideas to write about.  Think of this as the movie trailer for my blog:

*  Negligent Flossing When Your Brother's a Dentist aka Payback is a Bitch
*  Writer Mothers of Non-Writer Kids: A Special Kind of Hell aka On to the 6th Round of Edits We Go
*  The Art of Approachability aka Why Men Don't Have to Smile at Work

Yeah, we're gonna have some fun.

So, welcome aboard, and come back often.  We'll laugh, we'll cry, we'll shake our fists at the world...no, I'm just kidding.  None of that.

Bottom line is, everyone needs something to scroll through while that Excel file saves.

This is it.